This Cosmo writer says yes. And she says that women of colour are much more likely to get you hyped up for that nooner quickie than anything by men. I’m inclined to agree in many ways. Mostly around the porn thing, which I believe is destroying young men, sexually. The talks I have to have in this house full of boys are uncomfortable, but I think a necessary antidote to whateverthefrig they get up to when the door is locked. Mainstream porn isn’t about sex, it’s about the performance of extreme sexual stunts in the service of further entrenching positions of male power and dominance. Just like Avengers isn’t about heroes and anything with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler is probably not about romance. It’s all just a set of extremes and circus-like performance designed to impress. Like the difference between someone commuting to work on rollerblades vs. the X-Games, or the difference between juggling and Cirque du Soleil. Just because the body CAN do those things, doesn’t mean most people WANT to do them. Anyway, what were we talking about again? Oh, right: bad sex scenes.
Allow me to vent for a second: Male authors have mastered the art of turning literary work into something that makes my libido want to go full-on MIA.
Maybe it’s just me or because of what I’ve read most recently, but if I see another male write “bulging member” and/or “throbbing penis” used as a dick descriptor in an erotic scene, I might scream.
Now don’t get me wrong, I recognize that many women writers fall into this trap too, as there are only so many ways to say “penis” without saying “penis.” But from what I’ve experienced, many women possess the skills to write around the word “cock” instead of blatantly using it… over and over and over again, until it’s actually nauseating.
And personally, I have a couple theories on why men are like this when writing sex scenes: One is that years of watching porn, where all it takes to get women to orgasm are a few weak strokes and unattractive grunts, have permanently damaged their perception of what real sex should look like.