ACTUAL Friday news

So, imagine my horror yesterday evening when I realized it was not in fact Friday at all, but a meagre, mocking Thursday, and I was forbidden by my own declarations-of-need-for-more-restraint from drinking an entire six pack of beer. But I have consulted with the horologists and they assure me that, yes, today IS “Friday, bitches,” as my friend Shannon says. Have at it, weekenders.

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